Vancouver Parental Alienation

The Vancouver Parental Alienation Lawyers at MacLean Law know that in high conflict separations, children often take sides with one parent – usually the parent who has the children for most of the time. They view the other parent (usually the absent parent), as all bad and attribute negative qualities to them. Your children’s behaviour may be due to Vancouver parental alienation or estrangement.

Contact MacLean Law today or call us on 1 877 602 9900 if you are going through a high conflict separation and your children are showing signs of Vancouver parental alienation.

In this article:

What is parental alienation?
What are the signs of parental alienation?
Parent’s conduct and other factors relevant to detection of parental alienation
Get professionals involved

In parental alienation, one parent actively estranges the children from the other parent, while in parental estrangement cases, it is the conduct of the absent/estranged parents that affects his or her relationship with the children.

If you are going through acrimonious separation and your children are demonstrating signs of alienation or allegations of parental alienation are being made against you, it is critical that you get experts such as a psychologist and legal counsel involved at an early stage. If your child demonstrates signs of parental alienation, contact us. Our team of highly qualified lawyers would be more than happy to assist you.

What is Vancouver parental alienation?

Parental alienation is a form of family interactional dynamic in which one parent engages in a pattern of behaviors to co-opt the children in a coalition with that parent to deprecate and reject the other parent with no justification. Parental alienation usually occurs in high conflict divorces. It can be characterized as a form of child abuse, whereby one parent brainwashes the children against the other parent.

There is a spectrum of parental alienation ranging from low to extreme cases. According to experts, the middle of the spectrum of parental alienation contains situations referred to as “an alliance with one parent” without complete rejection of the other parent. The children have a consistent preference for one parent during the marriage and/or after separation, often wanting little contact with the other parent after separation. Such alliances typically form in older children in response to the dynamics of separation, and involve the child taking a side based on his or her moral judgments on which parent was in the wrong. Although alliances are temporary, they may harden into alienation in a particularly bitter and protracted divorce proceeding. (see Alienated children and parental separation: Legal responses in Canada’s family courts by N Bala, BJ Fidler, D Goldberg, C Houston – Queen’s LJ, 2007)

You need to get professionals involved at an early stage both psychologists and legal professionals who have the expertise in parental alienation to prevent parental alienation from advancing to the extreme stage.

What are the signs of Vancouver parental alienation?

According to experts (Dr. Bernet and Gr. Gardner), children might be subject to parental alienation if they manifest the following behaviours:

Your children demonstrate a persistent rejection without justification or denigration of a parent that reaches the level of a campaign;
Weak, frivolous, and absurd rationalizations for the children’s persistent criticism of the rejected parent;
Lack of ambivalence;
Independent-thinker phenomenon, where your children proudly state that the decision to reject the other parent is theirs, not influenced by the preferred parent;
Reflexive support of one parent against the other;
Absence of guilt over exploitation of the rejected parent;
Presence of borrowed scenarios;
Spread of animosity toward the rejected parent onto the extended family.

However, these factors should not be considered in isolation and an expert needs to determine whether there is any parental alienation and if so the extent of it.

Parent’s conduct and other factors relevant to detection of Vancouver and BC parental alienation

Dr. J. Michael Bone and Michael R. Walsh, in their article “Parental Alienation Syndrome: How to Detect It and What to Do About It” define four criteria that can help identify whether a parent is actively involved in parental alienation. These four criteria are:

The parent actively denies access and blocks contact with the children and the absent/nonresident parent. The parent justifies actions in blocking contact is that of protection and in extreme cases it will take the form of child abuse, quite often sexual abuse.
The parent falsely alleges that the absent/non-resident parent has abused the children or sexually abused the children. Most often the false allegations of sexual abuse occur in relation to younger children, who are vulnerable.
The children had a good and positive relationship with the absent/non-resident parent prior to the breakdown of the relationship and there is substantial deterioration of the children’s relationship with the absent/non-residential parent after separation.
Fear of the children to displease or disagree with the alienating parent because of the consequences that are attached to disagreeing with him or her. For instance, the alienating parent may tell the children to go and live with the other parent, whenever the children speak positively of the other parent. Thus, creating a sense of abandonment. The alienating parent, through his or her conduct, forces the children to choose parents.

According to Bala and Findler, alienating parent behaviours include:

Rarely talks about the other parent; disinterested in the children’s time with other parent after the contact; cold shoulder, silent treatment, moody after return from visit
No photos of the target parent; destroys evidence of the other parent
Refusal to hear positive comments about the rejected parent and is to quick ti discount good times as trivial and unimportant
No encouragement of calls to other parent in between visits
Indulges child material possession and privileges
Refusal to speak directly to the other parent and has no concerns with missed visits with the other parent
Does not believe that the child has any need for relationship with other parent
Portrays the other parent as dangerous and may inconsistently act fearful of other parent in front of the children
Makes delusional false statement regarding the other parent to the children

However, in some cases of parental alienation, the conduct of the alienating parent may be less important. For instance parental alienation may occur because of the rejected parent’s inept parenting and counter-rejecting behaviour (before or after rejection), domestic violence or abuse; chronic litigation leading to a “tribal warfare”, which includes extended family members and friends getting involved, siblings dynamic and pressure, a vulnerable child, developmental factors, and gender preferences (See Children resisting post-separation contact with a parent: concepts, controversies, and conundrums by Barbara Fidler and Nicholas Bala quoting Kelly and Johnston, Family Court Review, 48, 2010, 10-47.)

It is also possible that the children are estranged from one parent because of the conduct of that parent (i.e. the estranged parents treats the children poorly, is disengaged in children’s life, does not contact the children because he or she is busy doing something else, does not insist on having a relationship with his or her children, fails to see his role in creating the situation, etc.). It not uncommon for the estranged parent to make allegations of parental alienation.

Effect of Parental Alienation on the Children

Parental alienation has adverse impact on the wellbeing of the Children. In Lopez v. Dotzko, [2011] O.J. No. 5211, the court states:

“(111) The adverse impact of parental alienation on a child has been well documented in the literature on child development and it has increasingly been recognized by the court. In A.G.L. v. K.B.D., [2009] O.J. No. 180 (ON S.C.), McWatt J., observed, based on the evidence of Dr. Barbara Fidler, a clinical psychologist, and a chapter of a book which Dr. Fidler was publishing on the topic, entitled “Understanding Child alienation and Its Impact on Families”:
There is a broad range of effects of this severe sort of alienation on a child. Some of them are low self-esteem to self-hatred, guilt, feelings of abandonment, feelings of being unloved and unworthy. Children may feel self-doubt and doubt about their ability to perceive reality. They may have simplistic or rigid information processing. They can have inflated self-esteem. They may have poor differentiation of self. They may be aggressive and have poor impulse control. Where there are court orders and children become aware that the orders are not being obeyed by the alienating parent, these children can learn that it is acceptable not to obey court orders. Alienated children can lack compassion and remorse and can also develop an ability not to feel guilt.”

Get professionals involved

It is critical to get professionals involved at an early stage both psychologists and legal professionals who have the expertise in parental alienation in order to deal with cases of parental alienation. If your case involves parental alienation, contact us and our team of highly qualified lawyers will be more than happy to assist you. In the Canadian Cases on Parental Alienation blog we review the Canadian law on parental alienation.