Protecting Children in Family Litigation From Collateral Damage
In today’s blog Tristan Jer, one of our superb and senior downtown Legal Administrative professionals explains, how protecting children in family litigation should always be kept in the forefront. In this blog, Tristan shares from personal experience how protecting children in family litigation prevents collateral damage to them. You can reach our child custody team across BC and in Calgary here.
When people think of family law litigation often their first thoughts are focused on how much support is to be paid, who gets the house, who gets the rental properties, and who gets the car. Sadly, sometimes only later comes a focus on what do we do about the child or children and their needs and how to provide stability to their lives so they can grow and function as a child should without cares or worries that adults face, like family litigation.
Protecting Children in Family Litigation 1-877-602-9900
My parents separated when I was about 9 years old. After a long trial, a shared parenting regime was ordered. I would live with my father, spend school breaks with my mother. When I was 14, I was asked who I wanted to live with. I was fortunate, I was well adjusted and an easy-going child. So, when my parents split, I rolled with it. I got to see both of them regularly and realized that my parents being apart was much better than being together. Much thought was put into making sure I had a good and stable childhood. I had a good routine with each of my parents when I was with one or the other and the transition from one to the other on the set schedule went well. I knew where I would be when and this added the stability I needed which is what allowed me to cope. I look back and it was not all that bad really. That’s being said, for some children this is not the case.
I think part of it is development of the child and the factors that go along with that. The child understanding that the separation is no fault of theirs and that they are loved just as much at that moment as they have always been, and that will never change. That concept is crucial to a child being able to cope with the separation of their parents. The child must fundamentally understand that they are not to blame for their parent’s present predicament. I believe that once a child grasps this concept and can run with it, with the help of their parent’s reassurances, it will go a long way to bolstering the stability in the child’s life.
Protecting Children in Family Litigation – Counselling For The Children
Counselling for the child is also key. If a child is showing signs of not coping well with the separation scenario, counseling early on is crucial to ensure the child has a professional outlet who can assist in navigating the child though the litigation from beginning to end, and then after the fact for as smooth a transition as possible. The less stress litigation puts on a child the better.
Children need to be able to be children and need the realities of separation explained to them in a manner they can understand so that blame and lack of self-worth don’t come into play and derail the potential of a happy childhood.
