Bird’s Nest Shared Child Parenting lawyers help parents and their children move forward after separation in a unique way.
A “nesting” co-parenting arrangement is one that is uniquely child-centered. Rather than the children having to adapt to the parents’ needs and living in two separate dwellings, they remain in the family home and the parents take turns moving in and out, like birds coming and going from the “nest.” During the time parents are not at home with the kids, they live in a separate dwelling, which can either be on their own or rotated with the other parent.
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Is the Bird’s Nest Shared Child Parenting arrangement potentially a good option for your family while going through a divorce or separation? In today’s blog, senior Vancouver parenting time lawyer Tal Wolf of MacLean Law’s Vancouver Office explains some of the pros/cons, and other considerations involved.
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Bird’s Nest Shared Child Parenting is a novel yet sensible arrangement, as children experience significantly less disruption in their lives and routines than would occur if the children are shuttled between new homes and then must adapt to completely new living arrangements. It can be either a semi-permanent or temporary arrangement, to allow children a smoother transition to life as a divorced family. Does it delay the inevitable when both parents need their equity in the home to get new residences?
Our top-rated Bird’s Nest Shared Child Parenting lawyers understand that nesting will work for some but not all parents. A bird’s nest arrangement will only work if parents live in close proximity or are able to be in the family home when it is their turn for parenting the kids. It works best when parents are co-parenting, as opposed to one parent being a full-time caregiver with the other a “visiting” parent.
The expense involved is another factor, depending on whether parents arrange for one or two residences away from the family home. If the former, nesting need not be any more expensive than parents living in two separate households. It may even be less expensive than maintaining two homes for the children, as the external residence may be much more modest if the children are not residing there; a one-bedroom apartment or studio is likely to provide more than enough space. In addition, parents do not have to purchase two sets of toys and clothing for the children as they may decide to do if children are rotating between two households.
If parents opt to maintain two different residences apart from the family home, they have to factor in the additional expense; the cost of maintaining three residences will be prohibitive for many. Finally, nesting while sharing one residence in addition to the family home is extremely challenging when new partners appear on the scene. In particular, privacy may become a serious issue of concern for one or both parents, since the other parent’s ongoing presence is obvious and unavoidable. For more information on “Bird Nesting” arrangements read this.
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Nesting works best when parents are able to separate their co-parenting responsibilities from their previous marital conflicts and remain amicable and cooperative as they confer about continuing household arrangements and the children’s needs. Both need to be prepared to maintain a certain level of consistency of purpose, discipline, and child-raising techniques to make it work well; this means being able to communicate clearly and peacefully rather than taking each discussion as an opportunity to argue.
Household and house maintenance arrangements, and ground rules, must be absolutely clear, and each parent must closely stick to the agreed-upon arrangements; over time, as they settle into the new lifestyle, more flexible arrangements are possible. A clearly drafted co-parenting plan or negotiated schedule at the outset is essential. Ongoing mutual respect is vital; and although it is reasonable to assume that there will be arguments or disagreements about various aspects of the arrangement, it is critical that children are shielded from the ongoing conflict.
Often, this form of co-parenting will end when the youngest child reaches the age of majority, at which time one parent may either buy the other out of their interest in the family home, or it is sold and the proceeds divided pursuant to the matrimonial property regime or separation agreement.
The Vancouver parenting plan lawyers at MacLean Family Law care about ensuring that your children’s lives are minimally disrupted during separation. Let’s face it…the adults are responsible for coping with the disruption and bearing the brunt of the changes. Children should be reassured to know that even though their parents are divorcing, they will be able to keep the routine, continuity, and permanency to which they are accustomed. If nesting is right for you, we can help see that your kids will remain in the family home, their school and neighborhood friendships can continue uninterrupted, while they maintain meaningful relationships with both parents. Call us.
We hope this article on Bird’s Nest Shared Child Parenting has helped give you some ideas at a challenging time. Call any of our top-rated Bird’s Nest Shared Child Parenting lawyers today. Our offices are located across BC in Vancouver, Surrey, Kelowna, Richmond and Fort St John and Dawson Creek and in downtown Calgary.
